cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (domestic)
This morning I was clucking over JJ, who has somehow managed to not get sick despite my best efforts and those of several coworkers. I hugged him and pleaded that he drink some orange juice for the Vitamin C.

"I don't need orange juice," he said, smiling into my hair.

"Are you at least taking your vitamins?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm taking my vitamins, I don't stand at the crossroads, I'll be fine."

Which made me laugh and relax, thinking I've trained him well.
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (Default)
I am really bad with phones. I hate talking on them, answering them, even looking at them gives me imaginary hives. When it was time to replace our home phone, the one we use for increasingly rare landline calls, J asked me if I'd be more willing to answer the phone if it was cute. I said I'd try, and so he bought me this one:

Even in this blurry photo, with a mess of wires and the message box, you can see, I think, that it's a cute phone. The receiver sits at a jaunty little angle. It has a pleasant, rotary-style ring, too. (I am, however, even at this moment, ignoring an incoming phone call.) But the best thing about this phone is the quirky little under-its-breath chime it gives out now and again. Our electricity is flaky, so we get these pulses throughout the day, and they seem to jar a chime from the phone. So, I'll be going about my business and hear the phone cheerfully remind me of its presence: "I'ma phone!" Or maybe it gets so little use, it's reminding itself: "I'ma phone!" In any case, it's so happy sounding, I've taken to repeating it: "I'ma phone!" And now Tweetie does, too.

This entry is my perhaps less endearing version of that declaration. "I'm here. I'ma writer. And kind of a dork." :D


Mar. 8th, 2012 02:27 pm
cafenowhere: Dean from Supernatural scratching his head, text reads: Never knows what's going on (confused)
Last night I found myself mentally writing fanfic for this cat:

cat in a suit with the morning paper and a cup of tea thinks, "I should buy a boat."

After some deliberation, he decides, "I WILL buy a boat." Tipping the balance is this sampler in his living room:

"meow or never" sampler

(I always "hear" that phrase as an Elvis ballad.)

No word yet on if the Owl will accompany him on moonlit cruises.

I finished the puzzle I was working on:
vincent van gogh's irises
I'm already itching to start the next:
variously colored herbal oils in glass containers
But first, a double-sided diversion:

cafenowhere: abby from TV show NCIS, eyes closed, listening to music (abby dreaming)
goldfish in the grass

a dispute in the cedar

the ligature of argyle

cafe con agave

wool-muffled root beer
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (Default)
To herself, at lunchtime: "Du...Du hast...Du hast mich..."

To herself, while getting ready for bed: "Honey Badger don't care, Honey Badger just take what he wants..."

Not exactly whispers, but non sequiturs. To herself, while biking, "This isn't Mexico!"

To me, while biking: "I am not taking you to the dog park."

I think the prednisone is having...effects. :D
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (saint dean)
This morning, [ profile] hominysnark retweeted an Easter joke that had me snorfling my coffee. Of course, then Tweetie wanted to know what was so funny, so I told her, then I had to give her a clean version of the Easter story by way of explanation.

"See, Christians believe that Jesus Christ died and then a couple days later on Easter, he CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD!"

Tweetie frowned. "That's odd."

"The weird thing," added J, "is they don't consider him a zombie or a vampire."

Tweetie looked thunderstruck. "What?! They don't?! What?!"

"Finish your yogurt, honey. You'll be late for school."

cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (hola)

1. Packages in the mail! Specifically, deliveries. The customer service emails kept telling me that amazon was shipping me "Jared Padalecki, et al." To which I kept thinking, "Gee, I hope not. I don't have room for a Padalecki, let alone his entourage." (I'd darn well make room for Jensen Ackles, though!) To my relief and in deference to all those opposed to sending live critters in the mail, they actually sent me season 5 of Supernatural, plus those jigsaw puzzles I ordered.

ETA: The back copy on this puzzle is hilarious (although well copyedited): "Now you can re-create the violent world of the Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day with this 1000-piece puzzle that captures the dark, cutting-edge style of the hard-drinking, vigilante siblings." Watch out! Alternate world emerging as I complete this good-looking puzzle! 

2. Honorable mentions! My poem "The Haunted Girl" made it onto [ profile] ellen_datlow's (quite long) list of honorable mentions for the forthcoming Best Horror of the Year. Alas, the recognition won't appear in the much shorter HM list to be printed in the anthology, but I'm delighted Datlow noted my poem at all. I saw that [ profile] ruralwriter and [ profile] intertribal and [ profile] samhenderson also received mentions. Go team!

3. My new laptop! J ordered me a new machine and I should have it in my hot little hands by end of month. It could consolidate the data on two computers to the new one and only, but being married to a techie has its advantages. ;) With any luck, I will soon be creating my own gifs and vids.

4. Spring has arrived in Iowa!

Let's share the light. What's making you happy?
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (coffee addicted)
parody of goodnight moon cover reading "Fuck you Sun"

I don't understand how the sun can wake me up in the morning when it exudes approximately the same brightness as a banana, but it's still not appreciated. Morning should start later in the day, when I'm better equipped to handle it.

cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (boondock saints smoke)

I do not get drunk -- I get awesome


And I would've studied so much more science if it had been written like this:

ATP synthase:
That sexy breakdancing enzyme takes punk ass adenosine diphosphate, which is about as useful to the cell as homeopathy, and turns that fucker into you ask? It fucking headbutts another phosphate right onto that bitch when it twists around. Just stop and think how hardcore this little shit is fuck its like punching a pig so hard you get showered in bacon.
Holy Snapping Duck Shit, It's a Mitochondrion!


That awkward moment when you realize the Snowpocalypse never comes when you want to spend MORE time with your loved ones.

cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (coffee addicted)
As always, feel free to share your own happy-making things in comments!

1. I have awesome friends who call me on my shit but never hurt my feelings, who encourage me to keep on truckin' without making me feel like I've been slackin'.

2. Supernatural's "hellatus" is almost over! Oh Show, bring back Soulful Sam and at least a facsimile of sense-making senseness.

3. My long-suffering hubby watched a ridiculous number of movies with me this weekend. The good: The Secret of Kells and Legend of the Guardians. The Bad: Angel-A and  Journey to the Center of the Earth. The Ugly: 28 Weeks Later. Also, he is not jealous of my tv/movie boyfriends, as evidenced by his impulse to buy Men's Journal for me because Jason Statham is on the cover.

4. This weekend I learned my brother was a sleepwalker...or, a sleep circler. He'd get up, walk in a circle, and go right back to bed. Like a dog. Do you know the blackmail potential of this?

5. Apparently my body is a wonderland, but someone sneaks in after dark: I have a scratch on my bum I can't explain, and while showering this morning, I discovered purple tinsel in my belly button. O_o

cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (studying)

You will all be relieved to know that, after much angsty deliberation, punctuated with soul-fortifying viewing bouts of random SPN and other gifs, I have chosen an engagement calendar for the year.

Please, hold your applause.

The selection pool was immense and slightly terrifying. suggested, from my browsing history, that I might like a new year of Bunny Suicides, or better yet, a calendar featuring Toilets of the World. Also, WHUT? Not gonna lie, I also considered the unapologetically pretty Twilight Garden compact calendar and the Big Penis Diary.  (There really is a calendar for everyone these days, isn't there?) My heart leapt when I saw the Keep Calm and Carry On calendar, then dropped when I saw it was unavailable. The Listography planner was a frontrunner for some time.

But I have decided to mark the days with Barcelona architect Gaudi's marvelously odd creations.

And now, I'm exhausted and must nap.


Oct. 21st, 2010 09:51 am
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (O rly)

Photo by Taber Andrew Bain


Aug. 14th, 2010 05:09 pm
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (happy pug tongue)


hidden cricket
welcomes you to the market
chides your endless


cafenowhere: teacup brimming with mysterious violet liquid (psychedelic tea)

sprouting from silver grass
the rare mailbox bloom waits
hinged jaw inviting

cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (neon sign)

on the crest of the hill
I get blitzed from behind
I tumble down with you
your laughter unfurls mine
until we jolt to a stop.
Can't catch my breath, but kiss me
and I'll race you to the top!


Small Game

Jun. 24th, 2010 08:02 am
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (raccoon)

stuffed chipmunk
no room left for seeds
tiny tragedy

cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (lightbulb)

curandera sells
"previously owned" caddy
clingy spirit expelled
The one sign left of Uncle Frank,
a new LED palm in her window.

cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (happy pug tongue)


Two canine castaways
take refuge in a purse.
They've never liked the boho look;
they think they might be cursed.
"The flood was bad enough," says one.
"But this rescue's even worse!"


This poem inspired by our flash floods earlier this week, specifically a picture in our local paper (second in the slideshow), which is actually pretty sad. So of course I had to make it funny. Perversion or self-defense mechanism, IDK. And is that a demotivational poster frame or what?
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (whiny Cas)

Every once in a while, I happen upon a site that makes me think, Yes, this is why the Internet exists. Most recently it was

Perhaps related, rare photo-documentation of the elusive Philosoraptor:

via wind up boy toy, originally from shitdisco (a tumblr site I cannot recommend because the optical illusion backdrop gives me migraines).


cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (Default)

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