cafenowhere: frog, arms crossed, sitting on a rock (chillin)
The skies were good for stargazing on two of the four nights of our retreat. We could see the Milky Way, and the first night, I spotted four or five shooting stars, plus what I suspect was the ISS, because as it trucked along its path, it flared really brightly for maybe 15 seconds. I thought it was getting ready to crash to earth. While I was trying to decide whether to run for my life, it dulled down and continued on its way. I'd never seen a satellite do that before, except for artists' renderings in science vids.

A distant owl hooted its way into our raucous, often-raunchy conversations. Busy bats swooped past us on the deck. I appreciate bats, but their sudden, erratic movements startled me every time. The crickets were loud and multitudinous.

midnight crickets
a chirp for each star

**

I decided to make it a detox weekend for myself, which mostly meant I didn't drink any alcohol. I also ate better than usual, but it was the liquor I was really avoiding, since I wanted my mind clear for writing and revising. My decision was initially met with surprise and disappointment by the other ladies, but they accepted it. (One of these buddies doesn't drink at all, ever, but she knows most-all my vices, so she raised an eyebrow, too.)

My room was on the lower level, which also had the entertainment center, hot tub, and a small bar. I noticed that the bar's open shelf was stocked with pint glasses and other tumblers/cups, so I investigated its other cubbies--just out of appreciation for its fine craftsmanship!--and discovered a quarter-full bottle of Jägermeister. Stop fucking with me, universe. I showed the other ladies, and one of them exclaimed, "How do you just find bottles of liquor?!" like I have 70-proof radar or it falls out of the sky for me.

Jägermeister
56 forbidden fruits
herbs and spices

**

The Midwest is being scorched by a heat wave that has the public schools dismissing two hours early every school day. This is why it is ridiculous to begin the school year in August.

Because I am not entirely human until I've been awake for a couple of hours, and because the retreat is my chance to sleep in late without judgment, I twice ended up taking my walk down the gravel roads at blazing midday. Hence the sunburn and blistered toes (my sneakers are cheap and ill-chosen). But it was fun to watch the roads come alive with grasshoppers at my approach, and to see butterflies tiptoeing on thistles and bees working the giant clover. During one trek, I encountered a city limits sign for the next town. Wikipedia lists the town's population as a whopping 253 souls, but from my visit, I'd guess those 253 are swallows and barns. On one walk back to the house, I found a pretty feather on the side of the road.

turkey feather
tucked into her hair
rare bird
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (drink me)
...or at least a ku.


February fog
cold caresses
of dead sweethearts
cafenowhere: abby from TV show NCIS, eyes closed, listening to music (abby dreaming)
~


midnight ku
pristine as the moon
gone by morning


For the first time in a long while, I had one of those middle-of-the-night brainstorms. Not surprisingly, it was during my manic swing on that Deceptively Good Day. I lay there in bed and marvelled at this perfect haiku I'd discovered. "Should I get up and write it down?" I wondered. "Nah, I've gotten better at remembering, and if I indulge this mania once, I'll be popping up all night."

Sure enough, that poem was long gone by morning. So I wrote this one instead. :)

~

Yesterday was Steve McQueen's birthday! The King of Cool would've been 81 years old, had he not died in 1980 from cancer. A few of my favorite photos of McQueen:



Honestly? I think it's the socks. :)



I'm a sucker for a good dad.



Steve, making breakfast look damn irresistible. (1970)
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (hammer head)
~


storm-tossed toys
a wiffleball buoy
befuddles fish

~

Yesterday was a Very Bad Day. Not because of anything that happened, just because of my brain and its peculiar programming. I actually cried. Then I had a couple of drinks, which disconnected me from the pain but left the anxiety. I spent much of the night working on a jigsaw puzzle and trying not to fly apart. I had to remind myself to breathe.

Today is a Deceptively Good Day. By which I mean, I feel great, but I know much of this feeling is due to brain chemistry, I am bouncy and chatty and my mind flits from one fine idea to another. I am very happy, nevertheless. I've really missed this euphoria. It will (I hope I hope I hope) give way to milder contentment and true productivity, but for now, it is a pleasure.

I spend all winter telling myself that once spring arrives, I will even out, that the fog will lift and I will be my better self again. Then spring hits and my mood goes wild and woolly as the weather here. So now I look forward to warmer weather. It's always sunny in June, right?

~

snowdrops crisp and yellow
earthworms cramp like icicles
on a frosty March

~
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (abby)
~

newspaper
open frozen on the snow
dead bird line

~
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (drink me)
~


misty morning
the world a glassine envelope
contents unclear

~
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (happy pug tongue)
~

pink August blooms?
crab apple confusion caused
by trickster winds


~
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (dingo ate my baby crazy)



~

tear-drinking moth
won't wait for tragedy:
barbed proboscis




Madagascan moth sipping from sleeping bird's eye. Cross-posted to tumblr.

~

Quarry

Aug. 10th, 2010 11:47 am
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (O rly)
~

in the caliche pit
a three-foot eye opens, blinks
viridescent tears

~
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (misunderstood)
~

rain of teacups
roof to street / he dumps her lovelies
like she dumped him

~
cafenowhere: teacup brimming with mysterious violet liquid (psychedelic tea)
~

his dingy black Chucks
on our velveteen settee
like bruises on a debutante

~

Time Out

Jul. 17th, 2010 07:40 am
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (Default)
~

playing tag
my girl, your boy pause to compare
nailpolish

~
cafenowhere: teacup brimming with mysterious violet liquid (psychedelic tea)
~

sprouting from silver grass
the rare mailbox bloom waits
hinged jaw inviting

~
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (silver teapots)


~

clockwork bug
crunched under my boot
buys me some time

~


Dynastidae by Mike Libby: http://www.insectlabstudio.com/.

~
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (coffee addicted)
~

Belligerent pigeons
swagger closer, addict-eyed,
to the cafe patio.
The boy curls an arm
around his loose tobacco
and rolls faster.

~

Firecracker

Jul. 4th, 2010 10:18 am
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (crap)
~

fast fuse
my fist punched open
fingers aflame

~
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (I need coffee)
~

santa in summer!
bus driver, soon to retire,
dons the suit once more

~
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (chevy)
~

tires through puddles:
velcro-ripping sound of
escape

~

We are taking the fam to the Mississippi River Museum today.

Small Game

Jun. 24th, 2010 08:02 am
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (raccoon)
~

stuffed chipmunk
no room left for seeds
tiny tragedy

~
cafenowhere: coffee cup with sugar packets that read WTF (I need coffee)


~

The way is long
and what you leave behind
will burn, he said.

I'm what's left
and I struck the match.
Let's go, she said.




Enhanced photo of black road through a snowy field, footprints on the right side
and a burning tree on the left. by bonnix (scotty) on Flickr. Title of photo remixed
for poem.

~

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